|
Scott Evil: Well my friend Sweet Jay took me to that video arcade in town, right, and they don't speak English there, so Jay got into a fight and he's all, "Hey quit hasslin' me cuz' I don't speak French" or whatever! And then the guy said something in Paris talk, and I'm like, "Just back off!" And they're all, "Get out!" And we're like, "Make me!" It was cool.
~*~*~
Dr.Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
~*~*~
Dr. Evil: Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism!
~*~*~
Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads!
~*~*~
Austin Powers: [holding Scott hostage] It seems the tables have turned, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: Not really. Kill the little b******, see if I care.
Scott Evil: But dad, we just had a breakthrough in group.
Dr. Evil: I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little s***! They were insolent!
~*~*~
Scott Evil: I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!
Dr. Evil: Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.
Dumb and Dumber:
Harry Dunne: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd Christmas: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
~*~*~
Harry Dunne: Skis, huh?
Beth Jordan: That's right!
Harry Dunne: Great! They yours?
Beth Jordan: Uh-huh.
Harry Dunne: Both of 'em?
Beth Jordan: Yes.
Harry Dunne: Ah... cool!
~*~*~
Harry Dunne: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
~*~*~
[coming out of the 7-11]
Lloyd Christmas: Hey guys. Big gulps huh.................. Well, see ya later.
~*~*~
Lloyd Christmas: Why are you going to the airport, flying somewhere?
Mary Swanson: How'd you guess?
Lloyd Christmas: I saw your luggage, then when I noticed the airline ticket I put 2 and 2 together.
~*~*~
[while driving in the car.]
Lloyd Christmas: You're it.
Harry Dunne: You're it.
Lloyd Christmas: You're it, quitsies!
Harry Dunne: Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
Lloyd Christmas: You can't do that!
Harry Dunne: Can too!
Lloyd Christmas: Cannot, stamp it!
Harry Dunne: Can too, double stamp it, no erasies!
Lloyd Christmas: Cannot, triple stamp, no erasies, Touch blue make it true.
Harry Dunne: No, you can't do that...you can't triple stamp a double stamp, you can't triple stamp a double stamp!!!! Lloyd!
Lloyd Christmas: [hands over ears] LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Harry Dunne: LLOYD! LLOYD! LLOYD!
~*~*~
Harry Dunne: According to the map we've only gone 4 inches.
~*~*~
Lloyd Christmas: Wanna hear the most annoying noise in the world?
~*~*~
Lloyd Christmas: Hey, I guess they're right: senior citizens; although slow and dangerous behind the wheel--can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back, don't you go dying on me!
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
Better Off Dead
[Tree Trimmer sees Lane in a dump truck.]
Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
~*~*~
Lane Myer: Two brothers... One speaks no English, the other learned English from watching "The Wide World of Sports." So you tell me... Which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?
~*~*~
Charles De Mar: This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?
CaddyShack
Ty Webb: A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a danish.
Roxanne
Mayor Deebs: I'd rather be with you people than the finest people in the world!
~*~*~
C.D. Bales: [shouting through the front door] Ten more seconds and I'm leaving!
Roxanne Kowalski: [opening the door] What did you say?
C.D. Bales: I said ten more seconds and I'm leaving!
Roxanne Kowalski: Oh.
[starts back inside]
C.D. Bales: Wait! What did you think I said?
Roxanne Kowalski: I thought you said, "Er more sessions by sleeving."
C.D. Bales: What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Roxanne Kowalski: I don't know, that's why I came out!
~*~*~
C.D. Bales: I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream - and I hope you don't find this too crazy - is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, "Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!" That would be bad.
Freaky Friday
Annabell (as Tess): It's easy to be you, I'll just suck the fun out of everything.
Tess (as Annabell): I do not suck the fun out of everything.
Annabell (as Tess): Fun-Sucker.
~*~*~
Tess (as Anna): Get away you clone freak!
~*~*~
Annabell (as Tess): So were like stuck in this SUCKFEST!?!!
A Few Good Men:
Kaffee: And don't wear that perfume in court, it wrecks my concentration.
Galloway: Really.
Kaffee: I was talking to Sam.
~*~*~
Kaffee: Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid!!?!
~*~*~
Kaffee: Did you talk to your friend at the NIS?
Lt. Weinberg: Yeah, he said if Markinson doesn't want to be found, we're not gonna find him. He said I could be Markinson and you wouldn't even know.
Kaffee: Are you Markinson?
Lt. Weinberg: No.
Kaffee: I'm not Markinson... that's two.
~*~*~
Kaffee: Whoa. Hold it. We gotta take a boat?
Barnes: Yes, sir. To get to the other side of the bay.
Kaffee: Nobody said anything about a boat.
Barnes: Is there a problem, sir?
Kaffee: No, no problem. I'm just not that crazy about boats, that's all.
Galloway: Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you're in the Navy for crying out loud.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Dan Marino: Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?
Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
~*~*~
Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.
~*~*~
Ace Ventura: I have a package for you, sir.
Man: Sounds broken.
Ace Ventura: Most likely; I bet it was something nice, though.
~*~*~
Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger.
Ace Ventura: Oh yeah? And you're ugly.
~*~*~
Melissa: You really love animals, don't you?
Ace Ventura: If it gets cold enough.
~*~*~
Mr. Shickadance: Ventuuurrraaa.
Ace Ventura: Yes, Satan? Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You sounded like someone else.
~*~*~
|
